The Tenets of Adversity: How Pain is the most valued commodity in life Part 1

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Life is supposedly controlled by divine entities that manipulate weather patterns and daily outcomes. However, the true ruler in this life is adversity. What is adversity? Adversity is an unexpected, drastic turn of events that happens uncontrollably despite one’s careful planning. Adversity is the measurement stick that sizes each one of us up in the most stressfully chaotic situations.

Simply put, adversity is our true initiation period that take us from the innocent levels of childhood to responsible degrees of adulthood. This is what separates the men from the boys, the women from the girls, the Kings and Queens from the peasants, the husband and wife from the common day bachelors, bachelorettes, hood-rats and etcetera.

You want to know who is in your corner? You want to know who has your back for life? All you have to do is sit back and watch how they deal with adversity. I had to ask myself these same question recently. I had a couple of situations that I can reflect in regards to this life lesson. Reflecting on the matter, I reminisce about my experience when I was dating this particular woman whom I thought I was going to be my wife because she told me so.

When I first got acquainted with this beautiful young lady, I saw endless potential in her. I saw and appreciated her efforts to do everything in her power to show me love and affection each day. I even loved how she attended to her baby daughter and her needs. Everything was going well. I was excited to go out my way to see her and she was excited to do the same things for me.

However, what I failed to take into consideration was the fact that this young lady was still energetically trapped within the confines of her daughter’s father. She just left a tumultuous situation with her daughter’s father. Therefore, she was still traumatized from that experience because they had been together for 7 plus years. Not to mention, she was with him since she was barely 20 years old. As a result, she still carried the baggage from that terrible situation over to me.

Moreover, as time went on, I noticed how her daughter’s father would call her and pick mindless arguments with her because he was still upset that they broke up. The tension had gotten so thick that this young lady would shutdown and argue with her daughter’s father over the phone in front of me and seemingly would forget that I was even there with her.

After observing this scenario, I learned not one but two things: 1) This young lady was not over her daughter’s father because he had the power to still pull her into practically any argument that he wanted and 2) She had a terrible habit of falling short under adversity. It was at this point that I knew that she wasn’t ready for me. After her conversation over the phone ended with her daughter’s father, I confronted her about my disgust in what I seen. Suddenly, further situations occurred after this that were eerily similar to this one. As a result, we went our separate ways. There were also other adverse events that came up where this young lady would have nervous breakdowns over the pettiest and smallest situations. Therefore, I had to reluctantly cut ties with her for my own sanity.

But truthfully, this was a much needed life lesson on my part. I needed this in my life’s archives. This particular situation has taught me so much. It has made me a better man by helping me bring out my best qualities such as sacrifice, patience, dedication, loyalty, honesty and hard work. Additionally, this experience has taught me how to act further under the tenets of adversity. Therefore, I personally will always appreciate this experience and will always hold everything about it close and dear to my heart.

Conclusively, adversity will either make you or break you because it is life’s ultimate test; this is the essence of our purpose of being because life is a school of hard knocks. You can’t become a man or a woman without it. I don’t care who you are. If you’re a woman trying to get a husband, or a man trying to get a wife, or someone struggling with trusting family members, or a person who is struggling with friendships and etcetera, regardless all you have to do is just be quiet and listen to life’s test. Let the ‘flames of adversity’ melt the solidarity of their ‘icy character’. In the end, you will see all you need to know about yourself first and then others secondly and then act accordingly.